Always biking against the wind

The weather the past couple of days has been unseasonably cool. Great for comfortably sleeping windows open, but not so great for quiet mornings when the inevitable garbage truck comes barreling down the block at 6am.


Sidenote: why is there a need to have garbage collection every single morning?! What happened to once a week pick up like when I was younger?

So when I go to bed around midnight and then get woken up periodically due to outside noises throughout the night and then very early before my alarm, I am not the fully rested person I could (should) be in the morning. And by the time I have to head to the gym after work (I am NOT a morning gym goer) I have to reach deep down inside myself to find the energy to perform miracles during my workout.

And that is exactly why I sit writing this in my apartment completely and utterly exhausted.

When I embarked upon what was supposed to be a year-long hiatus from drinking, I promised myself that by the end of the year I would post a photo of myself - shirtless - on my Facebook wall as a testimony to the achievements I made in the gym. Of course the unexpected back injury occurred and set me back in my gym efforts for a few a months so by the time March 1st of this year came along and I was due to post my gymspiration photo of myself, I was no where near the shape I intended to be. I had not achieved one of the many goals I wished to achieve.

But I was undeterred. It actually spurred me on to try even harder. And I continue to extend my sober living, I have also approached my workouts with a renewed sense of dedication. I have been doing everything I can to try to get the body I want: changing up my workout routines, lifting heavier than I have ever lifted in my life, riding my bike to and from work, taking a circuit training class, trying to lock down on my eating habits (why do the cookies/cakes/ice cream still get me?!) all to help get me ready to photograph myself and post the gymspirational picture of me and my "amazing" progress.

As I look at myself I still don't feel ready. However I said that I would post a progress photo for my birthday and that happens next week, so I think regardless of my lack of a six-pack of abs or D-cup sized heavage or bulging biceps, I shall still post a photo. It won't be anything fantastic, but it will be real. It will be a true testament for the work I have been putting in to my body.

And I have put in a lot of work. I wish I could have the dedication and devotion I have for the gym for ever facet of my life. I could rule the world with this determination. I mean, basically, at this point, I am not giving up. I will get the body I want. Somehow. Failure is not an option. I've been trying to remind myself that I sort of pushed the reset button on my life back in March of 2011 and that I've been steering the ship in another direction, fighting against the current and dodging obstacles along the way and that it's going to take time. That it's not going to be easy. Working towards getting the body I've always wanted has been one of the hardest things I have ever done in my entire life. And I continue on.

As I was riding my bike to work this morning the cool wind was blowing against me, pushing back on me, making what should be a nice, calm, easy, flat-surfaced ride become an extremely arduous workout. Prior to having my morning coffee, I don't want to have to exert much energy and that is exactly what I was having to do. Why couldn't the wind be blowing the other direction and push me along the bike path, making my ride to work nice and easy? It seems more often than not I am constantly fighting the wind in the mornings.

Which is when it hit me (for probably the millionth time): Things are never going to come easy in life. I will never have the easy wind-free bike commute to work, I won't be able to control the noisy garbage trucks outside of my window, I won't be able to predict a back-injury obstacle thrown at me, I won't ever have genetics that enable fast growth of amazing muscles and I won't be able to make working out any easier in my plight towards achieving a better body. I just have to accept it. I just have to keep trying and keep my eyes on the prize and do the best darn job I can.

But I know I'll get there. And every time the wind is pushing me on my ride to work I"ll remember that. And when I'm done cursing the wind for making it difficult I'll say a little thank you for giving me a small morning workout. :)