Creating Change Over The Last Five Years

Creating Change Over The Last Five Years

Five years ago today I took a step towards making a small change in my life that ended up becoming one of the biggest decisions I could have ever made.

When I decided I desperately wanted to quit smoking cigarettes I knew I needed to remove the one constant downfall to my lapses in judgment so I would stay the course. That one downfall was drinking. After a few vodka tonics, smoking always seemed like a great idea.

And what was meant to be merely one month away from drinking to help me cleanse my system and successfully kick the smoking habit, got extended to 3 ½ months to coincide with my birthday that year. But after having to endure and then succeed at having a booze- and smoke-free weekend at my Fire Island share within that 3 ½ month time frame (Fire Island being a modern-day version of Sodom and Gomorrah) – I knew I could accomplish anything I put my mind to doing.

So I challenged myself to go a year, which ended up getting extended to my birthday of the following year. It was a total of 16 ½ months that I went without smoking or drinking (and not that I ever really partook before, but there were no drugs of any kind either). The smoking was never meant to come back. The drinking was. So that Pride Sunday I decided to have a few vodka tonics to celebrate. What could be the harm in having just a few of the tiny, miniscule, watered-down drinks that get served on Pride Sunday? I was home by 6pm and after having a nutritious dinner and water and advil, I was in bed by 11pm. The next day I woke up extremely hungover and I was sick for three days following that.

Over the next couple of years, I tried drinking only a handful of times after that experience. Each time I felt less and less excited about my return to drinking and more and more certain that regardless of the drink of choice, that I was certainly not going to feel good for a few days after consumption – what I now recognize to be alcohol withdrawal symptoms. Apparently my body has an addiction gene and if I completely cut out something from my diet, reintroducing it doesn’t make for a welcomed return. Total abstinence seemed like the best course of action. The last time I had a drink was Labor Day weekend of 2013.

And once I committed to living smoke- and drink-free, I decided I would challenge myself even further, to push the limits of what I was used to and see how healthy and fit I could become. Within the last two years I have stopped eating wheat products, I’ve cut out consuming processed sugar and one year ago I gave up drinking coffee. I have the occasional indulgence with a slice of pizza here or a dessert there, but, as with the alcohol, I always have a withdrawal from the sugars in the wheat and/or desserts. My body does not like to fuck around. It’s all or nothing. On or off. No in between. Lucky me.

It’s funny how nobody seems to understand why I would do any of this. People can’t seem to wrap their heads around the rationale. And I guess if you feel perfectly fine ingesting cigarettes or booze or wheat or processed sugar or caffeine into your body, then you probably wouldn’t understand. All I know is I have never felt better, physically and emotionally, in my entire life.

I feel happier. I feel healthier. I feel stronger. I feel more “ME” now than I have since I was sixteen.

Some people think I’m missing our on living a full life because I don’t drink anymore or because I changed my food intake. That I’m somehow not experiencing the best that life has to offer. And that’s just simply not true. In fact, the last five years have been some of the most amazing years of my entire 40-years on this planet. Seriously.

I occasionally get irritated over the fact that despite having made all of these changes to my body that I still haven’t quite built the muscles that I envisioned getting. Every time I would eliminate something else from my body I would think: “THIS will be the thing that was holding my muscles back! NOW I will finally look like Joe Manganiello!” But no, that’s not the case. Apparently another gene I’ve got is the not-build-muscle-easy gene. I just wish I wouldn’t see the super built guys who smoke and drink and do drugs and eat like crap and have huge pecs and a six-pack of abs.

Everybody’s body is different. And everybody’s choices are theirs to make. At the end of the day, we are all just striving to have the best life we can.

One thing I’ve learned over these last five years: If you’re not happy with something in your life, whatever that may be, you have the power the change it. Life is not going to change for you, you have to take action. And it’s hard and time consuming and not always enjoyable and you may not get exactly what you want, but if you hang in there, it can be really rewarding. I say that from first-hand experience. (A great resource for me was Anthony Robbin’s best-selling book “Awaken the Giant Within.” He provides practical ideas and methods for how to evoke personal change in your life. A fantastic read and applicable to anyone.)

So onwards and upwards for me. No turning back. Here’s to another five years. And then another. And countless more. Because if the next five years are anything close to as amazing as the last five years have been, then I’m in for a really awesome ride.